Okay, it's two am on a Sunday and I can't sleep. Why? Fear.
I am totally afraid to go to sleep because I know in just five hours I have to get up and get ready for school. I don't know why I'm afraid, I just am. The very idea of walking into that building just makes my heart race, my muscles tense, I start to sweat and I have a strong urge to start to cry. This has been happening increasingly the past few years but has intensified to the point where I only attended two and a quarter days of school last week.
To explain how fearful I get, imagine someone told you that you had to get up tomorrow and go on national television to explain the chemistry of a carrot's core. That's about what I get.
I hate to be the person who has to go online to talk about her problems, but I'm not good at explaining this to people I know personally. And anyone I would be totally comfortable talking about it with has no concept of IRRATIONAL fear. They'd just say it's stupid and I have no reason to feel that. Quite true but that doesn't really do much, does it?
Anyway, I can't sleep and this is the only place I can go to. If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it.