Confessions with Maddi!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who could use a little cheering up right now, so I thought it would be fun to confess all the ridiculously embarrassing and somewhat funny things I've done, because Jesus knows there are a lot of them. I can't be tamed.

☸ My freshman year of high school, I went to my first ever real party and we were doing a haunted trail walk. I got scared and peed my pants. I for real peed my pants. Like soaking wet peed my pants. I was 14. I called my dad and made him come pick me up so I wouldn't have to ride home in my friends car. To this day, I'm not sure if anyone knows, but I can't imagine I did that great a job of hiding it.

☸ When I was in high school, we used to secretly have parties at my grandparent's lake house (bad idea), and one time, a couple of my friends and I decided to take the paddle boat out at like 2 AM. All my friends made it safely onto the paddle boat, but I fell into the lake and got soaked. I didn't have any spare clothes. My shirt was white.

☸ At another one of these parties my senior year, my boyfriend and I were planning on losing our virginity to one another (oh so romantic, right? don't judge, he played baseball so I thought I was cool), and we had this whole big thing planned where we were going to go in one of the spare bedrooms. His drunk best friend came in before anything happened, came and laid between us, and made us cuddle, while spraying us with Febreeze. I wish I was kidding.

☸ My junior year of high school, I was determined to get one of my best friends a boyfriend for some strange reason and she refused to date anyone we knew, so we went to Borders (like the book store) to hunt for guys. Don't ask. We eventually found the only teenage boy that went into Borders, and I just walked right up and talked to him like a total nutcase, then forced him to teach me to play chess. They never did begin dating, though we did get his number. He still thinks I'm crazy.

☸ I turned 21 just over a month ago, so naturally, I went out and drank. After a while, I got drunk and became hungry. I then ate a cigarette because I thought it was a flamin' hot cheeto. A flamin' hot cheeto. I still wish I was kidding.

☸ And, the final story to end all stories, the one that proves I am the most awkward person on the planet... My cousin got married in October 2010 and I was one of her bridesmaids. I had to walk down the aisle with this guy named Aaron, who was married to this girl named Jenny. A couple months ago, I went to a party at my cousin's house and Jenny was there, so I made a comment about how I walked down the aisle with her husband, and everyone looked at me with these wide eyes and open mouths, and my cousin is giving me her shut up look. Jenny then was like, "We're divorced." Oops. But the awkward doesn't stop there. My word vomit came out and I responded with, "Oh yeah, when people get married before 25, it never works out." My cousin was 22 when she got married. She was standing right next to me. I clearly shouldn't be allowed in public.

I feel like everyone should make these now. You know, for some thrills and chills.

Katie, this blog is dedicated to you! I hope you read it when you wake up and it makes you smile (: I love you!