Verdict

I have known you for one year and eight months. In one year and eight months, you have managed to ruin my life, make me hate myself, and lose the person I was meant to be with. You manipulated me and twisted me into thinking I was in love with you. What I thought was love was just a desperate attempt at finding happiness.

I don't know why I wanted to be happy with you. Maybe it was because you hurt yourself like I did. Maybe it was because you thought you were a freak, too. Before, I felt like a downright burden. When I met you, I realized that other people are sad, too. And maybe two sad people could be happy together.

As much as I wanted that to be true, it wasn't. You weren't just sad; you were mad. Twisted. Sick. Dangerous. I didn't see that, though, because I so desperately wanted you. But that was your plan, wasn't it?

Your plan was so terrible. I didn't think it was possible to want to cause people so much unhappiness. But you did. You told me your plan was to make me like you. Entice me. Make me want you more than her. It worked perfectly, just like you planned. Then you were going to leave me and take the person I loved for yourself? All because you made the mistake of letting her get away. That's not my fault, or hers. It's yours, and it wasn't fair of you to hurt both of us for it.

But because I thought you meant it when you said you loved me, I left her. I left her all alone. And then you started hurting me. You cheated, on a weekly basis. You hurt yourself when I asked you not to. (I did not hurt myself when you asked me not to, mind you.) You lied to me about almost everything. You made me think we had a future together.

You ruined me. Any amount of self esteem I had diminished when you made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I wanted to hurt myself even more. I wanted to die for a majority of our relationship. I developed every type of eating disorder a person can have. I went to a god damn mental hospital because of you.

I'm so happy I left you. Ever since I have, I've been truly happy. I get up and I don't worry about whether or not you'll cheat on me that day or whether or not you'll tell me that I'm not good enough. With her, I feel whole again. She's repaired all the broken pieces of my heart and then some. And you know how? She loves me. That's it. And I love her. It's amazing what real love can do for you. Not desire and lust and the need to feel like you belong to someone cloaked as love. No, real, true, honest love. The kind that everyone deserves, even you.

You were stupid to let either of us go. It's safe to say I hate you.