I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I ditch people on roleplays, okay? I apologize. I have this crippling anxiety of telling people that I don't want to do one anymore, so I just don't reply and I hide. I know it's rude and crappy and about a billion other things. It's not an excuse, and it isn't a reason. It's just something that I'm working on.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I have such an issue with actual relationships that I close myself off from just about everyone. I'll just stay behind my writings, my photos, and my music. I'll just stay where I'm comfortable instead of opening myself up to the possibility of failure.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I lie to my family about my real plans for my future. I have no desire to go to a four year college to get some degree that I hate. I don't want to make a bunch of money if I can't be happy with myself.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that half the time, I hate myself. I hate how I act, how I look, how I sound. I hate my anxiety and my emotions. I hate feeling like I'm second best, and that I'm full of it all the time. I hate the fact that it's been over a year, but I'm still recovering from being used by some guy just for his entertainment.

I'm sorry. But I'm trying to work on it.

_________________________________________

For the one shots that I promised? I have to write them at my Dad's, and I'm not sure when I'm going there next. But they will be written. I promise you that.