My Life.

So I'm 19 almost 20 and I've been thinking a lot. Mostly of my so called "friends" and then my friends i do know that have my back. I can't say my family has my back. Every time I like a guy oh I just want to be friends or I don't want to ruin our friendship. But is that okay to call me babe, cutie, beautiful, or I love you. Even though you say "I just fucking with you." I think about trying being with the other sex and see if it's better or what. I don't know anymore. I don't know who college will be for me this fall. :/ Grr! My life sucks right now. I know people have it worse than me, but I feel a lone now. Most of my friends and my so called "friends" are having kids. So I never see them anymore. I do feel a lone.