Rambling on and on...depressed and all that..

Well today has just been one of those days that I've been thinking none stop about how I look and if I'm even worth it....blah blah blah all that nonsense that I had gotten rid of after High School. :/

In high school I was always made fun of because I was tall, red hair, smart...they also thought I was a Lesbian so they decided to make fun of me for that too. So I had very low self confidence during that time and I never told my parents about it either so that's what makes matters worse.

I didn't know what to do with all these emotions and I had headaches all the time, and that's starting again. I try to write about it, poems, drawing, reading, listening to music...but all that makes me even more depressed because I just wish that I was better.

But then I met my ex boyfriend in senior year....yeah that was the worse thing possible for me because he made me feel worse about myself...and other things that I wouldn't like to mention on here. So he just messed me up even more.

Then I met my recent boyfriend....he was amazing and still is. I love him and he is definitely the "one"

Right now though I can't look in the mirror anymore because I'm afraid of what I might see. I just feel gross about myself...I really hate this feeling.

I just needed to rant...and let things off my chest.
Thanks for listening. ha.