Writings and Feelings.

It's like I need to feel really bad about myself in order to write a lick of anything. Even if it is the worst thing ever written, I find it truly helps me cope with how I feel. I'm not sure I'd consider myself depressed, I just go through some really rough patches because I care about others so much and I'm acknowledged so little.

I guess it's just really hard to think that I go out of my way to make my "friends" happy and do them favors and then I feel like other times they don't want me around nor am I ever invited to go out to do anything.

I used to have friends that would ask me to hang out with them all the time or vice versa, but now I'm always the one inviting people and never the invited. When I do plan things though, it always falls through and it's very seldom due to me having to cancel.

I literally spend every night with my dog. Every single night.

Don't get me wrong, I love Oliver but he's really not much of a conversationalist and I need conversation.