an essay on nothing.

Less than a month ago, my AP Literature teacher gave my class the task of writing an essay on nothing. Not too hard, right? Just give her an empty sheet of paper - well that was obviously not allowed. She gave us twenty minutes to write a one page essay on nothing, and then we would present them to the class. During this time, I was going through a tough time in my Senior year of high school: my depression had consumed me once again, my grades and scholarship applications were drowning me and the impending date of final grades toward graduation rank were drawing closer and closer... After writing my 261 words, I requested to go last (even my teacher had written an essay), and she allowed me.

Earlier in the week I had already written her an 'essay', in place of an essay we were supposed to be writing, telling her of what was going through my mind, but I did not give her the full run down of what exactly was plaguing me and making it impossible to keep up my grades. So, now, as my depression starts to loom once again, and I'm beginning to find comfort in than simple gray blade once again. I let out my emotions best with my writing, as you will obviously see in my works posted on this site.

So, without further adieu, I give you my essay on "Nothing":

Nothing. One word, seven letters, two syllables. It holds more power than 'love' and 'hate'. It describes more than 'everything' and 'anything'. It is a mind set, an emotion, a lifestyle. Nothing, the response we all use when someone asks how we are doing. It's a facade for us that everyone sees through but ourselves. Nothing, the response we all used as little kids when our parents asked what we had learned at school. It may have seemed like nothing then, but now it seems like a lot. Eighteen years is a long time, but some call it nothing. It isn't nothing, it's something that we don't want to see go, but have to let go of because that is the nature of life. Some call the life of a person 'nothing'.

"They're useless."

"They'll never get anywhere in life."

"They're nothing but a waste of space."

"You're nothing!"

I'm nothing.

Nothingness seems so welcoming some days. There's nothing but calm loneliness that eases the mind and makes life seems just a little easier. Eighteen years is a long time with a lot of baggage; the weight of 'nothing' on your shoulders. Life seems too beautiful to let go of, but when you're called "nothing", you believe your life is nothing and believe that being "worthless" and a "waste of space" and "going nowhere" is something that you don't deserve. You don't get the privilege of "something" and are thrown into a black loneliness of "nothing".

Nothing is something that cannot be described but inside... inside we all believe we would fit under the definition.