Dear Life, may I make a suggestion? ..or two?

I sure do love ya. But c'mon, cut a girl a break.
I have concocted a little list for you, just to take into consideration.
I am quite positive I'll have support from, oh, I dunno, the rest of the world.
But it's just a little somethin' to chew over, no pressure.
I know ya got people to screw over and all that jazz.
You're a pretty busy gal yourself, or dude. Y'know. Whatever. Both? It's all cool.

List of Suggestions for Life
Make weekends longer. Like a day, or two. Let's not go nuts. I'm fine with a 9-day week.

Make nights longer. Look, I have to wake up a 3AM every day, so I have to go to bed at like 9PM. Do be a doll and add a few hours. Like mid-one, mid-two, and mid-three. 27 hours a day has a nice ring to it, no? Even numbers are so overrated.

Make gas less expensive. I don't know if you're the...entity/manifestation/concept?...to talk to about this, but this is just a problem. I live two hours away from campus. Do you know what that costs? No, I suppose you wouldn't. Or...you would...? I might be confusing you with God. Whatever. You got connections.

Make nail polish less chip-able. I just did my nails yesterday, and I already chipped the polish by washing my hair. The nail polish is brand new. That's just annoying. What am I suppose to do, not use my hands? Fix this, brah.

Make cell phone batteries last longer. Now, I know that I've had my android for about a year now, but that little shit lasts me half a day. You know how frustrating that is? I have to lower the brightness on it all the way. I'm tired of walking to class and looking like a weirdo sticking the phone all up in my face just to see the time because the glare of the sun makes it impossible to see the screen and then I run into people! asdfghjkl. Deep breaths. And on that note...

Make the sun, uhh, less sunny. That'd be splendid. California can go for a change. The Golden State was named for its gold. Not the sun. You should know that.

Make winter longer. We have like two seasons in California, those being summer and winter. Summer is about 10 months long. That's just wrong. I like winter. The frosty air, the warm sweaters, the hot chocolate, the rain, I wouldn't even mind a little snow. Not a lot though. I'm Californian after all. Make me put chains on my car and I'll never drive again. Plus my feet would probably fall off. I'm quite fond of my feet.

Make internet free. In a perfect world, humans would be radiating their own personal wi-fi signal from their very bodies. That'd probably give us cancer though. But free internet, that'd be nice. I can just log on anywhere. On roadtrips, 'specially. Not that important though. This is something I thought I'd throw in here.

I can't think of more at the moment. But I'll tell ya what, if I think of more I'll write you up a new list. How's that sound? Oh, and by the way, don't be so stingy with the luck. People say we make our own luck, but I know where it really is hiding away. I'm on to you.

Mibbians? Anything you'd like to add to my list? Feel welcome to throw in your suggestions in the comment box!

Toodles
-I
April 24th, 2013 at 04:11pm