Why do guys think that hollering derogatory statements about my physical anatomy would make me want to talk to them?
I'm talkin' about shit like:
1. "DAAAAYUM, GIRL, DEM TITTIES BOUNCIN'!"
I know they are. They are wonderful, and that's what they do. Get the fuck over it, foo'.
2. "Psst. Pssssst. Aye, baby. Why don'tcha come over here and talk to me fo a minute."
Why the fuck are you whispering? It makes you seem like some back alley perv whose trying to lure me over for a lollipop that--SURPRISE!--is actually your lonely ass dick. That is not endearing. Speak the fuck up, or get the fuck out.
3. "MMMMMMMMMMM."
What? Did you really just growl lustily at me? Ya ugly ass, nasty ass, stupid ass, smokin ass, ig'nant ass mutha.... No.
And then when they yell "AIGHT! FUCK YOU DEN!"
SERIOUSLY???
How They Expect Me To Respond:
NO! No, no wait. Haha! I was just kidding. I do want you to love me! You are attractive, and the way that you treats me makes me attracted to you. Thank you for putting my stubborn ass in its rightful place: below you.
How I Actually Respond:
...
I don't. I just keep walking. Because I literally give no fucks.
