Pure and simple...
My heart wasn't in it. And to prove it, here is what I was doing a year ago when I should have been studying, and I'm not talking about "here, let's study for a while."
I'm talking about skip-meals-don't-shower-fall-off-the-face-of-the-earth-forget-to-breathe-become-an-insomniac-pull-your-hair-out-and-cry type of studying. (Although I did do this for finals.)
Yes, so I have waved goodbye to my sort-of-dream-but-mostly-my-father's-dream of becoming a doctor. I was going to specialize in obstetrics. And even though I have this die-hard obsession with the human body. (And I secretly would have loved to work on a cadaver, because I would have been better suited to that line of work anyway.) Med-school was not for me. It would have been hell and I knew that if I didn't have that passion for what I was doing, I was never going to survive it. MYGODARETHESCIENCESCOMPETITIVE. It was bad in the prep, I could only imagine med-school. AND RESIDENCY. BAD. Anyway. I get nostalgic. And I constantly ask myself whether I made the right choice, but I know, deep DEEP down inside, I did.