I'm really down today... er... tonight. I feel really guilty too. I have a bunch of school work I should do, that is overdue even, but I just don't care... I don't know. Like, I wish I would do it but I know I won't. can't. This whole weekend was just painful. It's like there is a monster inside of me, slicing at my soul and instead of blood I bleed tears. I don't know why, there are very few things truly upsetting me right now, but I am just so... so sad. If you saw me right now you'd probably think I had just been diagnosed with cancer or my pet had just died or something. I'm a total wreak and I don't know why and I don't know who to turn to. No one can help me. Those who can understand me don't deserve my burden, and no one else can possibly understand. My best friends can't understand why I am so sad all the time, or why I don't feel like hanging out with them, or why I am missing so much school. My dad treats emotions in a straightforward way, and irrationality does not exist to him. My mom sort of understands, but she can't do anything else to help. I just... I wish someone could just make the pain go away. And I only know one way to do that. I don't know if it's come to that yet.... I dunno. I'm just really scared and I didn't know where else to turn to... I don't really need comments or anything and I will probably delete this in the morning but... I just really needed to vent somewhere. It's stupid and I'm sorry for wasting your time.
-Goldy
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