The Avenged Sevenfold Bible and other things.


M. Shadows puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"

Synyster Gates can slam revolving doors.

The chief export of The Rev is pain.

Johnny Christ counted to infinity...twice.

Zacky Vengeance can divide by Zero.

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does M. Shadows. He doesn't have to.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless M. Shadows has been there, then its soaked with tears and blood.

Synyster Gates died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

The Rev once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Zacky Vengeance sleeps with a night light. Not because Zacky Vengeance is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Zacky Vengeance.

Johnny Christ is the reason Waldo is hiding.

A Tsunami is water running away from The Rev.

How many times does it take Synyster Gates to screw in a light bulb? None. Synyster Gates does not need light. Light needs Synyster Gates.

Zacky doesn’t get brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.

Johnny Christ got in a fight with a cloud.

M. Shadows does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

The Rev crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.

M. Shadows can speak Braille.

Johnny Christ is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Johnny Christ.

M. Shadows jacks off to Monster Trucks.

Jeeves asks Zacky Vengeance.

If The Rev is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Geico saved 15 a year switching to Synyster Gates.

Johnny Christ went back in time and stopped the JFK assignation by catching the bullet in mid air. JFK head just exploded in sheer amazement.

The Rev brushes with Plutonium.

Zacky Vengeance has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.

M. Shadows made Satan cry.

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Synyster Gates" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!"

Jesus walked on water. Johnny Christ walked on Jesus.

When Zacky Vengeance gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

M. Shadows doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

In the beginning, Johnny Christ told God to make him something to play with and gave Him a seven day deadline.

Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Synyster Gates is watching.

M. Shadows does not leave messages. M. Shadows leaves warnings.

The idea for the show "24" is actually stolen from a drawing Zacky Vengeance made when he was drunk.

The Rev kicked a 50 yard field goal while having sex.

The biggest mistake Clint Eastwood ever made is when he told Johnny Christ to make his day.

M. Shadows once drop kicked Tim Allen for popularizing his mating call.

Synyster Gates killed the last Unicorn with his bare hands.

The Rev plays soccer with severed heads.

Johnny Christ can lift a mountain over his head with one arm and make a perfect pitcher of Kool Aid with the other.

M. Shadows is like a Tsunami, if you can see him coming it's already too late.

Uncle Sam doesn't want you anymore. He's got Zacky Vengeance.

Johnny Christ beat up the Jolly Green giant.

M. Shadows ate the Stay Puff Marshmallow man.

The Rev didn't vote for Pedro. He deported him.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because of M. Shadows.

When God said, "Let there be light", Synyster gates said, "say please."

Johnny Christ plays Russian Roulette with the Grim Reaper.

Zacky Vengeance punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

The symbol for Zacky Vengeance in sign language is a middle finger on fire.


I went on Tumblr again and saw Gena naked again.

I am not judging though people may say that I am, but I am just stating facts.

First of all, she has said that she is 24.... okayy?

Second, she wears HUGE bras and her, ahem, items are really small for it.

It's so weird but because the people and blogs I follow are basically people that are my friends, I see SO MANY people posting naked pictures or spreading rumors.

Now something off topic about Gena, wouldn't Maria Brink and M Shadows look so cute together?!!

I just feel that they belong together.

Yes, I am aware that M Shadows is married and YES, I am aware that, I guess, they will be together forever (the "I guess" added because I don't know if that is true or not)

But gosh darn it!

It is MY thought!

And I can think of what I god damn please!

I just think that they should maybe fall in love and be beautiful together... forever.

It's like at this point I don't want him. I just want him... with Maria...

Ok that is all!

April 30th, 2013 at 02:09am