Disappointed

I told myself once that writing only makes me feelings stronger, but I can never help myself. When I'm sad, I need to write. Even though I know it won't really help, I need it.

For a project I was originally planning to host a guitar performance where I would play my guitar and people would come along and listen and all the money made would go to charity. I decided to change that idea to a talent show so more people could become involved. I was originally going to do two performances in the talent show but I reduced it to one so that more people had their chance to shine. I thought that as long as I perform at least once I will be happy. I plan to sing to my friend playing the piano and I plan many practise sessions that he fails to attend. I keep asking and asking him o practise and tomorrow is the last day get to see him until the performance. So I tell him, "We practise tomorrow, or I don't perform." I am not performing because this pr*ck didn't even bother telling his parents that he was performing so he cannot practise at all. I know it isn't entirely his fault, but I'm sad! I'm so sad and I can't stop crying because I can't handle this disappointment. I wanted to perform so badly. I have never perform before and I hired this music centre with my family's money just for that purpose.

I feel like I'm not being fair to my friend because I am in the wrong mindset, but I can't help that I am devastated.