Get this out of my Chest

I really needed a place to get this out of my chest, really, and I’m sorry if it’s a bit confusing at times…

I moved out of my home town for school, because the program I'm studying in is only given here, three hours and an half away from my town. Students from all around my province come here for this unique program and I made a new family here. I met this one guy in the middle of the first session of this school year that I’ve liked since then. We’re not in the same gang but I’ve always seen him here and there. My favorite time was at the first years’ Christmas part. My program is divided in two techniques, and we’re not in the same one and at the party we did a snowball fight with the two techniques against each other, it was a lot of fun. At one point in the fight, he came to me, took my toque off, put snow in it, put it back on my head and ran off. It really is nothing, but to me it was cute and I’ll just never forget that moment.

Anyway, since then, we’ve never really had anything but small talks here and there, but he has been hanging a bit with my gang for the last 2 weeks and we’ve had discussion and joked together. BUT. Yes there’s a but, I’m not living in a fairytale… Since a bit after Christmas, there’s a girl, who’s a friend of a friend, that have been hanging out with us and she’s «nice». Before being with us, she was with another gang and had the reputation of going from man to man, and that didn’t change. At all. She’s really always looking for attention. Sometimes I’m talking to my best friend in his room and she just walks in and start talking to him and ignoring me. She’s known him for a month and she’s always after him and giving him big hugs. And she’s done that with all my good friends.

I just feel like she’s here to scrap my life!!!!

And obviously, she’s after the guy I like. When I’m talking alone with him, and I’m just happy, she comes and start talking to him and making him ignore me. I can see her always talking to him on Facebook and talking about him. In my head I’m just like you’ve known him for two fucking weeks and I’ve liked him for six fucking MONTHS! That’s half a year.

Why is she in my life? She’s destroying all my relationships!

But, I can’t just let him go, I’m falling for him more and more day after day. He’s just too sweet and funny and cute and every time I see him I just get really happy, He makes my day and I’m miserable when I go two days without seeing him.

The problem is, I can’t talk to people about her annoying me because first, everyone likes her, of course, my luck, and second, I’ve never been the one to talk about my emotions or acting bitch with someone, even if they get on my nerves.

I’m just stuck with this and I’m afraid of losing him, even if he’s not mine…