Time

They say if you were truly in love with someone it takes you about half the length of the relationship to get over them. For me that meant four and a half months. Well that time has passed, and I for one can say that I 100 percent believed that I am over you. I know now that I have moved on.

It’s strange when I think of you now. You don’t cross my mind nearly as often as you once did, but now when you do, it just feels strange. Like what we had never really happened, like that was never me, I never met you. 

I’ve changed quite a bit actually since I last saw you, as I’m sure you have as well. I mentioned a date we went on today and it felt surreal. Was that time, when I felt so content with my surroundings, so comforted, so ‘loved and in love’ only a year ago? Did I actually feel that comfortable with another person at one time? 

I don’t know, I think I’ve just done such a good job at distancing myself from everything and everyone that it seems almost impossible that I actually let someone get as close to me as I let you.

Not that I’ve forgotten about you, the memories are still here, but those people are long gone. Now I see the good in what happened. Stopping our ‘relationship’ really was for the best. 

About a month ago I really thought that I wanted to get back together with you. I had many dreams about you, and I decided I would put myself out there and try. It obviously failed, I didn’t get the attention I was hoping for and basically gave up before I felt too needy.

I now see that it really wasn’t meant to be. I may always have something there for you, but it’s really nothing more than feelings of remembrance. It’s like when you think about freshman year and you’re like ‘wow i actually did that’ or ‘wow yeah we were actually good friends then’ and you remember how great things were at the time, but no one ever wants to relive senior year. I no longer want you back. I’m okay without you.

Today, I move on.