Roll call of every boy I've ever liked

1. He had blue eyes and bad haircuts. he was a real moron
I liked him longer than any other boy on this list

2. Best friend of the boy above. I tutored him in biology.the reason I began writing
I regret liking him most

3. He was very shy and very nice and very smart.One of the most handsome boys I've ever seen.
That's all i really knew about him

4. A very good friend, we get along very well. I've never met a boy this good at sports.Nothings happened but if something had, i could not imagine it ending well
I like myself best around him

5. He dropped acid and went streaking through my neighborhood. He reads good books and makes funny faces
Very bad news

6. Very big crush. I wrote more about him than anybody else.he left to military school. I think i was heartbroken for a long time
Honestly, I barely knew him

7. Class president. So tall he could touch the skies. He gave me a lot of free weed and we rolled down a hill, I got a zillion ant bites
Still don't know why this happened

8. Boy who liked me more than i liked him. very pretty eyes.We got in a fight once and I don't think he remembers. My friends don't like him
I still feel bad

9. Beautiful swedish blonde boy. Essentially a boy virgin suicide. He let me sit on his shoulders during a die antwoord set
He was an angel in my geometry class

10. Older boy. He called me weird and I thought he was a jerk.We had everything in common
I talked to him every day for half a school year

11. Sweetheart boy with freckles. I am very fond of him. Yesterday, he got arrested and kicked out of school
I still can not believe it

(Im in a weird place.I thought making this list would help, but now I'm sadder and all I want is to write corny kid love haikus and make miniature clay figures until my fingers fall off)