I don't think I'll ever understand boys

I haven't done a blog in such a long time, but I just need to get this out there. You know that feeling when you're not sure whether he likes you or he's just interested in you as a friend? Yeah, that's pretty much the suckiest feeling ever.

I mean he's kind of my best friend and i wouldnt want to jeopardise our relationship with an awkward conversation. Like "oh by the way I know we're just friends, but i sort of want to have your babies..".

It's just weird how someone you never thought you could feel anything for suddenly becomes an every minute kind of feature in your mind. You know what's really fucked up? I encourage him to go for other girls even though I dont really want him to. I've never been in a relationship and I'm seven-goddamn-teen. Maybe that's why i push him to go after other girls, because I'm scared.

Thing is, he's sometimes so sweet I almost swear he likes me..but then aren't guys like that by nature? With all girls? And he flirts and..Good Lord i just dont know.

And the girl he used to like and possibly still does is horrible. I'm not even joking or being bitchy. okay sure I'm biased, but ShE tYpeS lYKKK tHiS!!!! I mean, really bitch? And dont even get me started on her constant status updates. NOBODY cares if you're in love with black tea and chocolate. I sometimes have homocidal feelings towards her. (i almost said homosexual and went..wait..)

Okay, I'm jealous. She obivously has something i dont (okay she has bigger boobs and a nice bum and i look like that stick-figure you draw but still..). l<< that's my body..

This is all just too much stress for my brain, I think I'm going to stick with my original plan of marrying Chris Hemsworth. HE'LL LOVE ME FOR ME *cries*