13. JashinistExperience - No Ritual Today

So I'm about to go through some emotional pain. My dad got arrested for the distribution of marijuana, supplying alcohol to underage people, noise disturbance, and some other things because he had another party last night. His house is trashed again. My grandma is going to sell his house.

The emotional pain comes from the fact that my grandma told me we are going to put the cats that are at my dad's house in a box and take them to the humane society. My oldest cat, Leia, is 8 years old and I know she'll end up being put to sleep because she is old. That is very traumatic for me to think about. I am all the cats have ever known and it pains me to think that I'll be abandoning them. I'll probably never see them again; they might never see me again. They'll feel lonely, sad, and scared. It hurts me a lot. It is a well known fact to those who know me that am more emphatic towards animals than humans.

I've already prayed to Jashin, but I don't feel like praying will do any good. I'm feeling very emotionally exhausted. Much so that for the first time since my conversion, I'm not going to perform a blood sacrifice. I'll definitely pray again before I go to sleep, but I just don't feel a need to perform a ritual.

Day 14 of my conversion to Jashinism.