I Feel A Little Out Of Place.

In the past year or so I've been noticing a 'trend' among girls that I went to high school with. Keep in mind that I am not even 20 yet (still got a few months left). With that being said, so many girls that I graduated with or are a year or two below me are getting married and pregnant either with their first or second child. This got me thinking, I can't even imagine getting married and having a child right now. The thought of 'growing up' and setting down with someone at this point in my life is not even an option. I am going to start my junior year or college in the fall and right now, that is my main priority. It's cool for those girls to go in a different direction than myself, but I honestly cannot even fathom the thought of starting a family at this point in my life.

After overcoming my anxiety issues and my depression I wanted to make a big change in my life. I wanted to live every single day the most that I could because being cooped up in my apartment with a horrendous ex best friend/roommate really took a toll on my mental and physical health. I was sleeping the days away just to avoid any conflict that may have come up because I 'didn't remind my roommate to do her own homework' because according to her 'that was my duty.' Once she left school and moved back in with her mom (and she brought her brand new boyfriend along as well) I got a new roommate and she is seriously what saved me. She has so much drive and determination inside of her, it kind of radiated over to me and I now have all of these things I want to do before I even think of settling down.

I am considering studying abroad with my sister in Paris next summer, which is something that I would have never even thought of doing. This put into perspective all of the places I want to go, people I want to see, and just everything in-between that I want to do.

Quite a few people back home think it's strange that I am almost twenty years old and I'm not 'involved in the dating scene' and there is one reason for that. I'm not the type of girl who goes out in search of 'my future boyfriend.' Ever since I was a kid, I believed that people are put into my life for a reason and I've never felt a need to search for people to surround myself with. If I meet a guy by chance and we hit it off, sure I'll consider him to be a future companion. Dating is not my number one priority right now, and it probably never will be.

I have absolutely nothing against those girls who chose to settle down at a young age, but I just feel a little out of place when I come back home for vacations and such. These girls are out there picking out names for their babies and I'm here figuring out what my plans for the day are. I know there are girls who look down on me because of how I am currently living my life, but it's my life and right now I really couldn't be happier.

I really have no desire to even think of settling down with anyone until after I graduate college in the next few years. There are some who feel that I am missing out on so many experiences because of that, but in order for me to feel ready to settle down and start a family with another person I need to find myself and get my life situated.