The missed opportunity that I had was the opportunity to say no, to stop myself from walking into that hallway that day. I missed the opportunity to save myself, my honor and my self-worth. I walked into that hallway and I missed the opportunity to stop myself from becoming a sex toy.
I walked into the hallway to meet a boy that I wasn't even dating, so we could kiss before I would never see him again. I walked into that hallway to see that pretty devious smile and sandy blonde hair. I knew that I was nothing but fun to him, but that didn't matter to me. I walked into that hallway knowing that when I came out, I would feel less of myself. I knew exactly what he wanted, but I didn't think I would give in.
And that's the problem: I didn't give in. I didn't have a choice. I completely and totally relinquished my control that day and gave my body's control to a person who didn't deserve it. I left with a bruised lip from biting, a bruised chin from a grasp so strong I had no choice but to look at him. I missed the opportunity to take my control back.
Before all that I had already given him control of almost anything he wanted and that was the day I could have said no, but I didn't. I missed the opportunity to be myself again and now? Now I'm only small fragments, put together with tape.
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