My Chemical Romanc (My opinion and personal reason they saved me.)

When I was fourteen I bought MCR's album The Black Parade. I had a friend back then that absolutely loved them and I wanted to hear more of their work so I bought the CD and uploaded it to my mp3. I was stoked that I got to hear what they had. Luckily I bought it because not long later my brother and his fiance got in a car accident that killed them both.

A police man came to my house late at night to tell my parents. I remember my sister coming in the house and telling me the news. I ran outside so fast that I cut my leg on something in the garage. I have no idea what it was to this day. All I remember is changing pants and my brothers best friend coming and hugging me. After talking with my parents for a few minutes I couldn't take it anymore. I went outside, it was raining pretty bad and I turned on my mp3. To this day I don't officially know how I got the big scar on my thigh. That was the only time I remember cutting open my pant leg, but I don't remember there being any blood. Anyway back on topic.

I think MCR was already on when my mp3 turned on, so I listened to them for a while walking on my deck, eventually I went out into the yard, in the dark and sat down letting the rain pour onto me while listening to the music.

The next few months were hard, I dated random guys over the internet and my school cut my credits so I didn't have anywhere near as many as I needed. They did it again in my sophomore year saying a paper wasn't turned in. I remember listening to MCR to calm me down through all the bullshit; I would go outside and just listen to them especially during the time I pushed everyone away from me. When I was lonely and being told I was going to hell for my sexuality the music was there, when I was battling with myself on being strong for my family and loosing my best friend because of a fight. Through all of that crap I felt like someone understood me and I wasn't so alone just by listening to that album.

I strongly believe that if I wouldn't have found MCR that I would have tried to take my life back then. I am really grateful now that I had their music to fall back on because things got easier. I graduated on time even though I did over two times the normal work a student does in school, I stayed away from drugs, alcohol and kept my nose clean. I didn't cut to relieve the anger or hurt I was feeling even when I would cry for hours thinking of all the things I never got to do with my brother. Back then when people would tell me, oh it will stop hurting, it will get easier, you'll forget. I still cry every once in a great while for my brother, mainly when life gets me down. It did get easier but back then I didn't believe it, and no matter what I will never forget him, or his fiance.

Through thick and thin, I always had my music. MCR you saved me, your music was always by my side no matter what, it was the one thing that didn't make me hurt in a time when everything was kicking me down. And for that, I thank you.