My Feelings For My Boyfriend

Hello, everyone. It's been a while. I'm not sure if an apology is in order, considering there's not really anyone to apologize to.
My topic for today: my relationship with my boyfriend.
Last year on April 30th, I told my boyfriend, Ryley, that I liked him and we started to go out. This lasted for two months. i then met someone else who I thought I liked better. But in reality, I didn't. I instantly regretted breaking up with Ryley.
In July, I had dropped into a very dark place. I told Ryley that I was feeling really depressed, so he asked, "If you're so depressed, why haven't you just killed yourself?" He meant it as an honest question. But I took it as him telling me to commit suicide. I had relapsed and begun to cut myself again. I blamed Ryley.
I eventually forgave him, but our relationship was rocky. We would be okay one day and then telling each other that it was the other's fault that we'd cut ourselves.
I realized that I still loved Ryley when he cut his hand open and rubbed the blood on his door or whatever it was he'd done exactly. He wasn't at school the next day. A friend and I freaked out, but I was so much worse. I was on my knees sobbing and saying that I needed to know he was okay. When the school called my dad and had him pick me up, I immediately contacted Ryley. When he responded, I was so glad that I cried from happiness then.
Ryley and I talked again. I found out that he still had feelings for me. But I was scared our relationship would end badly if we got together again.
We talked on and off for a while, and then he was leaving my school. I kissed him that day.
He later invited me to his bar mitzvah. On that day, we got back together after I cried on him and kissed him in the photo booth. It's now been about a week since we got back together, and I love him. With all of my heart. I'm not sarcastic with that at all. I honestly, truly love him more than anything. I always will. I know I'm a little young, but he's my first love and my last.
I sound really cheesy and obsessive, right? Well, I don't care. It's how I feel.
Ryley, if you read this, I want you to know that I love you. No matter what I may do in the near future. I will always love you. Don't forget that.