My friends and I were talking about abortion and... I found out quite a few things about them actually. And myself. We didn't debate about it, or fight or argue. We just talked. A friend of a friend is pregnant and she'd been trying to get an abortion. Thing was though, she was too far out - about five to six months. And every one knows that that's unsafe by any one's measures. But she tried, and she drank heavily for the first trimester or so.
Anyway thing was, she was my age. And while we talked I found myself empathizing for her. She must've been terrified. She must've felt hopeless. Because you don't try to get an abortion when you're in a place where you feel like you can take on a kid. And I know that she must've had to make some desperate decisions when her attempts failed.
It reminded me of the story of a cousin's wife. She was pregnant, heavily so, but she didn't want the baby. Her husband, my cousin, was on tour overseas. So she tried to have an abortion. Only thing was, she was too far out. Way too far out. And she didn't look for help from a doctor either- even though there are a few of those who are willing to do illegal abortions at a fee around here. She got it from one of those back alley herbal medicine people you know that you shouldn't just shouldn't trust with a cut.
End of the story was that she died. And her baby - around seven months old - died with her. She took a drug that people called "chinese oil" that her friends said she got from a lady at work, and hemorrhaged to death. There was another case a few years ago where a young university woman was found dead in a pool of her own blood in a doctor's clinic.
This is what happens when women aren't given a choice over their bodies. People die senseless deaths. Terrible, painful deaths. They do things like drink alcohol to the point of idiocy just so that they can force their bodies to miscarrying.
Ultimately my discussion with my friends to what we'd do if we were in that girl's position. Straight out about 80% of them stated a flat out no. They'd have the kid, come what may. There were only two of us who said that we wouldn't. And I won't.
If I ever, ever got pregnant when I wasn't ready to have a child I'd look for a way out. I'd look for a doctor who could help me get rid of it. Because at that point in time, the thing inside me would not only be capable of destroying everything I'd ever worked for but my future as well. It would simply be just a bunch of cells that I could get rid of. End of story.
I told my friends this. They looked kind of shocked but then E kind of nods empathetically and says, "It's okay that you feel that way. We're just different and we'd react differently in different situations."
But she told me that if I were to ever have an abortion than I seriously should never ever tell her. And it dawned to me that our friendship, one that I had seen get blast open with hell fire so many times but still stand strong, could literally be broken by that. By my decision to have an abortion if it ever came to it.
I don't intend on getting pregnant any time soon. But I am young and I don't intend on dying a virgin either. I know the effectiveness of condoms, family planning techniques and shit. They're not a hundred per cent safe. I guess my point is, I'd like to have a choice about it all. An option. I'd like to have a plan Z if I've wasted the first twenty or so letters of the alphabet on other things.
My country is a long long way away from legalizing abortion, I know that. But it needs to start realizing that the changes in society may be happening faster than society itself is willing to accept. Girls are getting pregnant and they are looking for ways to get un-pregnant. It's not that uncommon any more. People need to start weighing out how many more lives they're willing to risk by letting these girls seek for alternative ways to intentionally miscarry or abort.
Anyway yeah, there's my break blog for the day. Opinions?
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