So... I think Exo Just Raped my Brain.

Remember that thing in my last blog about doing real work? Haha. That's funny. No. -_-

So, stupid me, I thought, what the hell, let's finally get around to watching the Wolf video.

NO. BAD IDEA! DON'T DO IT!!!

And to make that easier: voila!



This is the Korean version. Pretty simple and straight forward right?

NO! IT'S NOT!!! NOT AT ALL!!!

Okay, there's a reason I don't listen to Exo and it's very simple. It's the same reason I don't listen to Super Junior:

THERE ARE TOO FUCKING MANY OF THEM!!!

I DONT' EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING AT!!! HALF OF THEM I DONT' EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING AT BECAUSE EACH ONE LOOKS LIKE AT LEAST ONE OTHER MEMBER AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON!!! NOT TO MENTION HOW FAST THE CUTS ARE SO I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF THE PERSON I THINK IT IS IS REALLY WHO IT IS!!

PLUS, THEY'RE ALL TOO FUCKING PRETTY!!! >( SOME OF THEM LOOK LIKE FUCKING DOLLS! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

That aside, they're all beautiful and I like looking at them and the dancing is wonderful and that opening sequence with the... tree? was fucking spectacular. The song is terrific and catchy (once I stomach the fact that they aren't saying "wolf" but "oolf" but whatever) and I love their voices.

So I watch that a few times and finally start to think I'm getting the hang of this Exo thing not really, I still have no idea who is who and I can't even match one face to the next and once I find one I like he never appears in the video EVAR AGAIN!

AND THEN I DO THE STUPIDEST THING OF ALL!!!

I DECIDE TO WATCH THE CHINESE VERSION.

(for your convenience:)



AAAASDFGHJKL!!!!

NOW I'M AS CONFUSED AND MINDFUCKED AS I STARTED!!! WHO ARE THESE MEN?!?!?! IS IT EVEN THE SAME PEOPLE!?!?!?

And since there are two parts, I swear to god they switched the groups in each verse but I don't know BECAUSE I CAN'T TELL THEM APART!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

I just don't understand!!! How do you listen to this band?!?!?! IT'S FUCKING MADNESSS!!!!!!! AAAHHH!!!!!!!

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!

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Why would anybody do this to themselves? I just... I don't... I can't... I... UGH!!!

THERE ARE LIKE.... TWELVE OF THEM! OR SOMETHING!!! AND IT FEELS LIKE 20!!!! HOW DO YOU KEEP TWELVE OR THIRTEEN OR FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN OR SIXTEEN FUCKING LITTLE KOREAN/CHINESE POPSTARS STRAIGHT?!?!?! THERE ARE TOO MANY!!! MY BRAIN IS MALFUNCTIONING!!!!

GWWAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Okay, but all ridiculousness aside... um... Chinese is a weird language to sing, right? Maybe I've just been listening to too much Korean lately but it just didn't have the same flow as the Korean version. I dunno. I still liked it, I guess... It was just... Different... And... was it just me or where they making their mouths like 3x as big in the Chinese version. like everything was -O- and the Korean version was like -o- but maybe that's just me.

Anyway, the moral of the story is EXO IS FUCKING INTENSE MAN!! DON'T JUST WALK INTO THIS SHIT WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION!! PROBABLY STRETCH FIRST, AND GET A HELMET!!!
June 6th, 2013 at 08:20am