Mixed emotions

I thought he said he would never get over me...... that all our plans would stay the same as our lives went on..... I thought he still loved me and wanted me to be his gf..... but now, I just don't HOW he feels toward me, cause now I'm torn apart. I have a bf, yes, but he was the one person I don't think I ever got over.... I just didn't want to admit it, so I kept lying to myself, keeping my feelings trapped up all along inside a cage, but it doesn't matter now, cause he finally has a gf, and I have a bf..... at least now HE can see his gf, while its a struggle just for me to see my bf...... I say I'm happy for him, when even he knows when I'm lying and when I'm telling the truth. It always shows, that's how he notices that something is wrong..... I'm not sure how much longer I can stick around him cause he is messing with my head, but I can't lose him as a friend cause of this...... I love him, and letting him go, is just as bad as saying that I hate him.