Ugh.:A Tale of Walking to an Ice Cream Shop

I arrived home from the two mile round-trip walk to a local ice cream shop approximately ten minutes ago. I have decided to write down the thoughts I had during the trip.

Okay, walking somewhere. How bad could it be?

Wow it's kind of warm outside.

Okay that was a mosquito. Ew.

Man I'm pale. I should get out more.

It's a bit too warm for my pleasure.

Jesus Lorenzo it's hot as dicks out here.

So this is why I don't go outside.

Ugh. The sun.

Ugh.

Why am I doing this again? Oh right, ice cream.

Am I sweating? I'm sweating.

Why am I doing something that requires so much physical effort.

I should've worn shorter shorts.

It's like 200 degrees out what is this?

No! A fly! Oh my god, get away!

Why is there no shade on this side of the street?!

Great, I switched streets just to have the shade end on this side as well.

Almost there.

Ugh.

Why did I think this was a good idea?

I'm sweating dicks.

Ugh.

Hurray, ice cream!

Yes, there's a line! I get to rehearse my order in my head a thousand times.

Nailed it.

This is the nectar of the gods.

I should write a blog about this.

How is it already melting?

What if this is just a dream and I'm actually just sweating in my sleep?

*trips*

Nope, it's real.

Ugh.

Why is it half done already? I swear I only bought it like two minutes ago.

Ugh.

Why is the breeze so light? Come at me mother nature!

My ice cream is gone. All gone. Seriously? Ugh.

Almost home.

I'm never doing this again.

Ugh.

Finally, home! Air conditioner YES.

The end.