Girl Talk (This May Go into NC-17 Territory...)

So like... I want to talk a little about my period. Because my period started Monday night/Tuesday Morning and it just really pissed me off because it always does this. Whenever my birthday or a holiday is coming up, my uterus decides it would be fun to start the fucking river of blood and carnage. Yay!

I just... Why, vagina? Why do you think that this would be a good idea? You couldn't wait the ONE WEEK until AFTER my birthday? It really had to be right now? I mean, granted, if I'm lucky, you might stop early this year but my period usually lasts a perfect seven days so I'll probably be plugging until literally the day of my birthday. Which, I mean, I guess is better than last year when I was only like, three or four days in the day of my birthday. But come on, now.

And, can we just take a moment to acknowledge the weird shit that our bodies do on our period. Like... Cramps, for one. Why? What the fuck is the point of this shit? I mean, could almost get it if it was JUST in my uterus. LIke, yeah, all the shifting and the squishing around to purge all the tissue and blood and shit, okay fine whatever. BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MY LOWER BACK AND THE INSIDES OF MY THIGHS AND WHY THE FUCK TO I HAVE TO BE SO ACHY AND MY BOOBS ARE SO SENSTITIVE AND I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DIE BECAUSE AAAAARRRRGGGHHH ITTT HUUURRRTTTTSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, seriously. Am I just stupid? Can someone explain to me why my back always hurts like I'm nine months pregnant and ready to pop when my period starts? And my inner thighs, too, and even the outside of my pussy. Like, MY PUSSY LITERALLY HURTS. WHAT THE FUCK? NOT JUST CRAMPS, LIKE IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE HAS BEEN HITTING THE BOTTOM OF MY PELVIC BONE WITH A FUCKING MALLET!!! GWWWARRRRRRRR!!!! Is this what guys feel like when they get kicked in the balls?

And why do I need to shit like five times a day? Like I shit so fucking much when I'm on my period.

Normal rest of the month: shit maybe once a day.

On my period: Wake up, gotta shit. Get breakfast, gotta shit. Watch some TV, gotta shit. Cry because my hormones are at fucking war, gotta shit. Writhe in pain from cramps, gotta shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. AAHHH!!!!

AND PLEASE CAN SOME ONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE FUCK THE POINT OF BEING THIS HORNY IS WHILE I'M ON MY PERIOD AND INCAPABLE OF FUCKING?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!? Like... No. You're not gonna fuck while you're on your period. Just no. At least, I'm not. And I'm sure as hell not going to fuck any girl on her period either. SO WHY AM I SO HORNY!!! Like... I don't understand... I'm like a year old puppy. I just want to fuck everything at moves. "Oh, you have two legs and breath? Let's get it on!" UM HOW ABOUT NO!!! Boys' horniness don't even compare to me on my period.

YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! I THINK THERE IS A GOD!! I THINK THERE IS A BIG SCARY MAN GOD UP THERE SOMEWHERE AND HE GAVE WOMEN PERIODS JUST TO TORTURE US BECAUSE HE'S A FUCKING SEXIST!!! RRRRAAAAWWWWRRRRR!!!!!

(Ah, but not really... ::tehe: )

Ah, FUCK THIS SHIT!!! Can anybody get me in touch with a doctor that would be willing to remove my uterus? I don't really want a dick, I don't think (although, that would be cool, but I just don't want a hand-made dick... :/ ), I just want to stop having a uterus. THIS FUCKING SUCKS!!!!