Part 1.

I don't talk about the way I love you because I feel as if there is no word, no phrase to describe or depict it. The feeling I get when I look into your eyes is one that I can perhaps only describe in physical expression ; my breath catches, my eyes soften, and before I know it, I'm smiling. I cover my mouth and look to the floor out of embarrassment - I am just a child. The love I feel causes me to scream cooties like some 6 year old kid at recess. And then I look up again and when I even catch a glimpse of you again, the already blossoming blush on my cheeks seem to bloom into red roses. I think to myself, 'this isn't even possible - i've never been able to feel like this before so why now and why like this?' So I catch my breath, attempt to wilt the blush away on my cheeks and I look up at you. I smile because that is something I can't help. And when I finally have the courage to look into your eyes for more than a moments breath, I feel blown to pieces. You shoot holes through me. And I don't know how to react. The closest thing I can think of would simply be to faint on the spot and I don't think that's very productive - do you? You don't touch me but I can feel your fingertips on my skin and you don't kiss me but the warmth of your lips on mine burns, even. I'd like to spend nights watching you sleep and I'm terribly sorry if that's creepy but I want to watch you exist independently of me. I don't want to exist with you, sometimes, sometimes I just want you to be and I want to see you that way - see you in a way that is untouched by someone like me. I want to see you quietly, loudly, boldly, sweetly. I love you so much sometimes I feel like poison. What good could I do for you? What good. And then the glass between us is broken, shattered, even, and as a shard slits the skin on my cheek, you pull me closer and you caress me and suddenly I think, 'I want to love you.' I want to make you smile and I want you to laugh and I want you to be happy. I want you to be happy. I don't know what else to say. I love you. But I don't know how to say it. My tongue gets tied up in nouns and verbs and the more I look at you, the larger my smile gets and I forget what I'm thinking of. I love you. I love your smile. I love your eyes, I love your hair and I want to play in it. For fucks sake, I love your teeth. I love you and, for that, you are perfect.