Hey! You opened me. I mean this. You opened this.
I'll get straight to the point but first hello there.
If you are familiar with me or my profile, you would probably know that I started posting this Naruto fanfiction story about 5 years ago because Quizilla got too confusing to me, so my friend -who told me about Mibba- (and a bunch of other people) moved here and started posting our content here. Now if you do maths you would understand that I was 13 at the time. And I had loved watching Naruto and loved reading fanfictions even more.
The whole posting fanfictions ordeal looked like a very exciting thing to do so one day I decided to create one myself. Little did I know that I had a funny monkey with a computer style in writing but I went ahead anyways because I had my mind set and full of ideas for my new story. At first, it seemed fun and I was getting positive feedback for some reason (God knows why -.-) but the readers came to their senses and noticed my monkey with a computer writing style so little by little, the comments stopped, the feedback stopped and I was pretty much posting some crap to myself.
I had lost hope. I realized I wasn't that good after all even though I loved writing with all my heart. It felt like the only thing I was good at but I was wrong. So I was negotiating deleting the story and just sticking to appreciating the actual talent of writing (I mean reading), but something happened. I met this girl. She is probably one of the most amazing people I know. You may know her as little.lotus88 aka Tien aka Cam aka Cammie aka Kamai. She restored my faith when I had told her about my story and stuff and I asked her to become my partner in crime. And she agreed.
Together we continued with the story till we reached fifty one chapters. Like wow! But.... I had missed something. The story was good halfway to chapter 51 but of course it was complete and utter bullcrap at first till they savior (Cammie) came to my rescue. All due to my monkey with a computer style in writing which I believe, I still have. I wasn't satisfied with the early chapters so we decided to do some reconstruction. Because my monkey with a computer writing style was an obvious turn off and the readers haven't gotten to the good parts yet because of it. Unfortunately.
This sad story (not) happened about 3 years ago. After that, school happened. I got too busy and so did Cammie. It sucked. Sucked very bad. I hated the fact that I wasn't able to do anything but succumb to my school (fxcker). The story was long forgotten. Until a week ago. I was in my room, studying mathematics peacefully and I could hear my brother watching Naruto on Crunchyroll, which raised my curiosity about the story and how it was. Bear in mind that I am now 17, yet to turn 18 in August. Anyways, before I went to bed, I opened the story and literally read all fifty one chapters in 20 minutes. And I guarantee you that I was in laughing fits and empathy because I hated my writing style. Yes, the monkey in a computer style. I saw everything wrong with the story and wanted to correct them. All of a sudden I had this massive brainstorm (kind of). This wonderful and brilliant (not really) idea formed in my head. But too bad it's too late.
I curse my brain for not thinking of those ideas earlier in the day, at least the story wouldn't have sucked cherry popsicles much and my monkey with a computer style would be overlooked. I don't know what to do now. Around this time last year, I promised I would start writing again but I didn't because I'm a wimp and I can't keep promises. And I doubt I was ever good in writing. Just because I loved it didn't mean I was good at it. I still haven't talked to Cammie about this because I still have one last exam in two days and I'll be free for life. Not exactly for life, but I'll be free from school forever, because I'm graduating. And I'll start a new chapter in life that will last for four years; university.
My future on Mibba is still unknown. I'm not sure if I'll delete my story or deactivate my account or what. But I do know if I leave Mibba, I'll deactivate my account because there's nothing worth staying. Unless I stay because I like reading and appreciating the true talent of writing. I know some of you will suggest writing original fiction, I already tried four times before. That went well (not). I even tried my luck for the second time at a halfway decent Adam Lambert fanfiction but as you guessed, I have failed miserably. Maybe I'm not a writer after all. Maybe I just like pens and papers and scribbling words down. I really don't know, which makes this very hard and confusing to me.
I understand this is too long for this nonsense but I am sorry. You wasted a couple of minutes on this monkey with a computer blog thingy but I appreciate the fact that you clicked on this. I really do. If you didn't, well, I am obviously talking to myself as usual. Anyways, I just wanted to get this off my chest because it's been bothering me for so long now. Meanwhile you can start a drinking game, everytime you read "monkey with a computer" drink! You will obviously get wasted monkey with a computer. Monkey with a computer, monkey with a computer. :D
Thank you again for reading this nonsense.
-Jayda.
(P.S this was written on a cellphone. So please ignore any spelling mistakes and typos, I'm not always that stupid. Thank you.)
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