i didnt know where else to turn to but u guys, but i need help please please read this please....? you guys r the only ones i relate to in a way and a simple advice would help :/

I recently got in a relationship with my best friend. He's been lovely to me :) but one thing I promised to him was that I wouldn't cut anymore. Well just recently on Friday I broke after like five months and I'm surprised myself. I cut for reasons I don't wanna discuss. But I cut and after I put down the scissors I realized the mistake I made. I wasn't going to tell him, but guilt trips don't work with me. So I texted him an hour later and told him I'm sorry. Hes really pissed at me and disappointed as I am to myself. So I waited the next day and he texted me still being an asshole. I tried to explain to him but he kept shutting me out. He won't let me explain. He ignores me and idk how to get him to talk to me. I'm the one that was wrong yet again at least I was honest with him. The last thing he said to me was. "Nope, your gonna keep doing it, go ahead don't talk to me anymore." He didn't let me explain!!! Then he just ignored. Nobody knows about my cutting but him. And he won't help me at all. He just throws hurtful comments at me and doesn't even try to work with me on quitting. He just makes it worst for me where I just wanna cut myself even more. Becuz of what I did. And i asked him today if I could talk to him in person becuz I want him to know the real reason and why. Still no reply. Idk what to do and my fucking mind won't get off of him :( please anyone help.