this is the end - father's day - reworking insomniac

just gonna start this off by saying this is the end was the funniest fucking movie i've ever seen because i saw it completely sober and still laughed as much as i would have if i was completely high out of my ass so if you haven't seen it you better change that and then come back so we can talk about how great it is dude

today was kind of a mess in the sense that i woke up at 2pm to find out a bunch of family was already here and it was strange because everyone was eating ribs and i was kind of like damn uh hi because honestly i'm not really good with family?? me and my mom are close but i don't really feel connected to anyone else which is a bummer and i obviously couldn't smoke without it being fucking obvious that i was on another planet while everyone else talked about how long my hair was getting and how my aunt's divorcing my uncle, bullshit after bullshit so i just laughed ate all of the fruit salad not much else i wanted to do tbh

anyways wow i'm losing track of what i wanted to say but i think my point was that my dad left when i was around one and i never asked why because i didn't want to know why and i still don't, i was never even one hundred percent sure what his name was till a few years ago and a part of me knows that it's not healthy so the other part of me blocks that out with it's always sunny in philadelphia and weed and writing. so that day's always been kind of a weird one because i'm never sad about it i just don't have anything to feel towards it but it was nice because i ate chocolate cake with my mom at midnight and we watched an episode of supernatural she hadn't seen yet

overall it was an okay day and so far this has been a great summer because i feel really good i feel like i can do anything and i can be anything and i might be ready to start ""looking"" for someone holy shit that sounds stupid but how can you really say that without sounding like a middle aged mom fuck and i've just felt generally positive about everything that's going on and that's pretty much all i can ask for because my freshman year of college is over and i'm moving on

i'm gonna reread this and realize i didn't say anything that was worth typing out but i haven't posted one of these in a while which i guess means i can say a bunch of bullshit and pretend it's significant enough to read

oh and if anyone is interested at all i've been really preoccupied with editing insomniac because FUCK that story is a mess until about chapter 18 or so because i started that story maybe two years ago and then picked it up again which means my writing was awful so if you want to reread it i've reworked it up to chapter four so far so it might be different if you even remember what it was originally like?? just a little heads up if anyone wants to reread a chapter after i've edited it

because of that stony park's been in the back of my mind constantly i just haven't been working on it but "volume two" with andy's point of view is almost finished!!