Are You Serious?!

Okay.

If you haven't read one of my recent blogs, I explained how me and one of my close Guy friends were becoming friends with benefits.

And it just so happens that on one crazy drunken night, we made a small mistake. We weren't as precautious.

And on that night he knew he had messed up. And on top of that, I missed my monthly gift. Of course I DIDNT tell him this.

But he had lied to me and told me he used something when I know for a fact he didn't. I'm not an idiot.

Anyways, today. We were texting and I made a sly comment about us doing that. Just trying to lighten up the conversation because he was already being short with me. He was being boring and disconnected from the conversation. So I was joking around like I always do.

And all of the sudden, he says he would shoot himself if he ever had a kid right now.

okay.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I know we are young. So it is a valid statement to make. I mean he wouldn't literally. But he was trying to prove the intensity he felt about it.

BUT.

It is the reason he said this that pissed me off. He lied to me and told me he was careful when he wasn't. And on top of that you are going to act like a bitch toward me when it isn't my fault? I haven't done anything? What. Do you think I want to have a child right now? Did I force you? No.

Now I am not saying we weren't both to blame. Because I am to blame too. I should pay more attention. But of course the keg standing and heat of the situation didn't help at all..

But really?

Is it necessary for you to say such things when you know there is a chance? That just freaks me out worse! Now I am positive I will have no support from you if there really is one. He said this because heis scared. Well I am too?

I don't know. It just really hurts me to know how alone I really am in this.