Day Five: Things are Always Changing

I wouldn't say I've changed a lot in the past two years, but I have changed. Not always for the better, but things are always changing. I'd be lying if I said I haven't changed, that nothing has changed. Even though they are subtle changes, they're changes nonetheless. I've become a little more jaded than I was two years ago. Events happened that I cannot change have effected me more than I care to admit. I don't trust as easily, nor do I care to change that. Whatever sliver of hope that I believed in two years ago about love and soul-mates has since died a horrible death. While I've always stayed away from relationships, I always held out hope that one day, someone would prove me wrong but now, I don't believe it. It's hard to admit that at one time I wanted someone to change my mind, but now, I know that will never happen. Part of me is okay with that because I'd rather live in reality than in some cushy ignorance that love conquers all. But still, ignorance is bliss. I still read romances every once in a while, but now, it's just fiction for me. I've become more honest. If I don't like you, chances are you'll realize it unless you're particularly dumb. I give my honest opinion more. I just don't care what people think of me. I used to care a little more, but now, it's just a waste of time. When I was younger, I used to hate being alone so I would 'talk' to guys I wasn't interested in. It sounds harsh, but it's true. I don't do it anymore. It's was too much energy to keep that up for long so now, I don't bother with it. I get along better with my family. I try to give people a chance rather than just deciding that I don't like them. People sometimes surprise me. I'll give them that. My mom always told me that you never knew what issues a person was dealing with when you met them, and I finally understood that, and I take that to heart now. I'm more understanding than I was two years ago. I take blame for my actions because no one is at fault but myself. Basically, I grew up. I'm still a little petty, a little vindictive but at the same time, I'm more choosy about who I'm vindictive to and when I am petty. Not all of these changes are good, but they're not all bad either. I can live with it, at least.