We'll Die Returning to the Fold.

He's pretty much the one thing I'm sure about in life.
I'm sure that I can never be with him.

I have this feeling that throughout everything in my life, he'll always be there waiting. I don't know if that's a good thing, or not.
I picture it like my life is this long car ride, right, and there's someone sitting next to me, talking to me, and we're enjoying the scenery. He's like the music playing in the background that you don't really notice until there's a moment of silence. You know?

I'm just not quite certain whether or not I'll be able to change the channel every single time.

As much as he hurt me, and screwed everything up, I still feel so drawn to him. But it's a fatal attraction. Like a bug flying into the light. It's so alluring, but I have to force myself to look away or it will be the death of me.

I so badly want to be friends with him, and have him be a part of my life, but I know that it will never just be friendship between us. And maybe at certain points in my life, that's what I'll need. It's like... he keeps me grounded. And I do the same for him.

I just feel horrible when I walk out the door, and neither of us knows when we're going to see the other one again. I feel like I'm digging my heels in as I traipse across his heart.

But it's not like that.

There's this magnet, pulling us, and I'm trying so hard to flip that magnet upside down to repel him, but sometimes it just slips out of my grip. And then I end up having to make a bigger effort to pull them apart again.

I'm cut out for so much more than this small stage of my life. I'm going to go places, and do things.

He's so creative and has the right ideas in life, but lacks any type of motivation to carry through with anything.

He understands me. And just by doing that, he fills up a part of me that no one else has.
And if you stripped away the ambitions we have in life, I guess you could say we'd be perfect for each other.

Every one of the last few times I've seen him, he looks at me like he's studying my face, as though he's never going to see it again. I feel like he knows too, how bad we are for each other.

But how can we be so bad, yet so good?

We have paths in life. Some people believe they're cut out for us, and we have no control over the larger scheme of things. I think we are in complete control of everything we do.

What's going to happen with him, and his life, I'm not really sure. Although our paths may not run together, or parallel, that they will intertwine many a time in the future, parting their separate ways, only to return to the fold, and separate again.

Of that, I'm sure.