i'm so stressed

i feel like I'm struggling to drag an incredibly heavy thing up a hill. It's almost impossible and i keep getting dragged back down by it. It's like the demon, constantly grabbing me and not wanting to let go. i hurt so much and I don't know what to do. It hurts so fucking much. I feel like crying almost all the time. I hope I'm not getting depressed again.... that would really suck. I need to stay strong for my daughter. I can't let Him win, I just can't. I need to fight it, even though I know cutting would make it so much easier.