cute pet names your parents call you + recc me shenanigans

I was reading this story on here (this one in case you were interested it's called Clever Swine it's pretty cool) and it's awesome 'cause it has Polish-ness in it and in case you didn't know

I AM A BONAFIDE POLISH PERSON. YEAH MAN. IT'S LEGITIMATELY OFFICIAL I AM ACTUALLY A CITIZEN. I COULD GO TO SCHOOL THERE IF I WANTED TO AND VOTE POSSIBLY WHEN I'M 18 I THINK?

Yeah my citizenship is pretty useless but whatever I have it and that means that when I go travelling I get to go into the shorter European citizen lines so holla.

But yeah I'm Polish living in Canada though, but my parents are foreign as shit so I'm basically living in a slightly less poor version of what I'd be living in Poland. And also I only have the conversation skills of a seven year old so that too.

Obviously my mom's cute pet names are a little different than your average American household. But it's not until I actually think about it do the names seem strange.

idk if anyone else is Polish but my mom always either calls me siermiego or sierota afrikanska.

Siermiego doesn't have a literal English translation, but it's basically dumb ass.

And sierota afrikanska literally translates to African orphan yes my mother calls me an African orphan actually I think that's racist mother you are racist and rude.

Then again it's Polish what do you expect.

BUT THEN WHENEVER MY SISTER CALLS SHE'S LIKE OH SłONCE
WHERE IS MY SUNSHINE?
WHY AM I NOT CALLED SUNSHINE?

This one Polish kid I know his mom calls him migdałow which literally means almond you are calling your son almond polish people are just clearly wack.

idk just thinking do you guys have weird names your parents call you?

BOO IT'S 11:30 and I'M NOT TIRED RECC ME SOME STORIES I'VE BEEN DOING SOME SERIOUS READING.
AND THIS TIME IT CAN BE YOUR SERIOUS.
If you recc'd some before don't worry I'm getting on them I've already devoured half of them yes I am now on 4 stories for comment monsters I know woah gabby that's pretty hardcore of you.
but recc something like five chapters or under thank you.

cough cough this is something you should read cough cough

african orphan out