Caine

Caine is a demon. Caine hurts me and makes me hurt other people. He’s tried to kill me before. Caine comes from ‘Doloki’. Doloki is another dimension and demons live there, demons come in all forms and sizes, they can look like people like Caine or they can appear as animals like Hour or even as an object and still communicate like Jay or they can appear in there original forms like Blink what can be scary. Caine is often mean to me, he has tried to drown me in my own bath, he has cut me and beat me and he has left bruises on my body. He makes me think of things, he makes me think of death, murder and blood. He makes me want to hurt people, to make them bleed. My medications help slightly, they make him stop being so strong, but sometimes they don’t work and I have to be restrained to stop me hurting people. I am often in hospital, but I never have long stays, I'm often only in for 72 hour observations. The longest stay I have had is 8 months and that was because I had attempted suicide and was refusing my medications, but with the help of the staff at the mental unit I was in, I got better and in time I was able to cope again. If it wasn’t for the staff at CAMHS I don’t think I could survive, they help me live, to function in every day life, to be able to have a life. Most people say that mental health staff don’t help, but they do, they really do help, they try and succeed in helping everyone they can. Some doctors don’t care, but most do and they do want to help, but they can’t help much if you don’t want help, if you don’t want to get better. Therapy and Medications do help, but you have to try.

Anyways back to Caine. I am often violent, but I am trying to get better. I want to be able to have friends, I want to be able to not hurt people, but its hard, Caine is often next to me whispering in my ear, telling me to act out and I can’t help it. I sometimes think that Caine likes me more than other people, because Caine is always here, always by my side and other people just walk away, they don’t want to help me, they just walk away and I never hear from them again. That’s why I prefer Caine and Doloki because the demons, while they are mean, they are always here, always on my side, they may hurt me, but they are my friends and they are constant, whereas the earths people, are not constant, they come and go and often just leave, because I am DIFFERENT.