Going on

Never done a blog on Mibba before and kind of wanted somewhere to put my thoughts, so hello!

Some of you may not know, but I graduated from college in May. It's been two years of ups and downs, and I can finally have a degree allowing me to do things I never could do before. I also am one class shy to get another degree from previous schooling. Hey 2 associates degrees by 21 would have looked pretty nice on future applications. Unfortunately, money became an issue, so instead of finishing my last class to attain this other degree, I've been working all summer.

I have to admit, it's been very slow. Lots of work from a job I do not like, and hanging out with barely no one. A good friend of mine even was across the world for a couple months. Honestly, it has been a lonely summer. Being a pastor's kid and being involved in my church helped me through a bunch of those long days, and even though it's been lonely, I've had a little fun.

Well, as summer winds down and fall approaches, my fears and worries for the future have been forever high. I would be fine for a few days. Glad and excited for the future that God had planned for me. Though, as days trickled on (sometimes only a few hours) I would find myself alone, wallowing in this fear and doubt. I've yelled and complained more than enough about how I have no money, that I hate my job, I need a car, I need to go back to school, blah blah blah. It was (and still is) like a never ending circle around my head wondering why God hadn't done anything yet for me.

It wasn't until this week when I slowly but surely started to practice what I had been learning in church for a month now. Why this was, on Wednesday night? Well because my parents brought up an alternative to going back to college.

Both of my parents at my age had gone to a Bible school in Oklahoma called Rhema. They brought up that this could be an option to my next year of schooling. My grandmother lives down in the area and I would be able to live with her. Being a multi cultural area in the "bible belt" I could meet plenty of new passionate Godly people that I need in my life right now. Also the many mega churches in the area would mean wonderful opportunities to expand my church experience and ministry experience. There are just so many benefits that I can't list them all if I did something like this! But most of all it would just be a blessing to be in an environment where I can truly be me and grow closer to God.

I am not interested in ministry work (what the bible school actually focuses it's schooling on). I would of course much rather go on to get my Bachelors degree and find a real job in animation or whatever I want to do, but this is a chance where I could truly find myself and grow up a little bit too. I would have to work, go to school, pay bills like any other adult. So yes, I'm terrified, but if I do decide to go to the school, it could be such a life changing opportunity for me.

If I ended up going, I would be there for the year. 9 months. Of course the school has 1-4 years anyone could be there so if I felt lead to continue on, I probably would. There is a "camp" thing going on where they have a school preview time and other church services going on which I am planning to go to in two weeks. It was completely last minute, but my parents feel, and I feel, that I need to see the campus before deciding yes or no on it.

If I don't decide to go, I'm not really sure what I would do. Most likely I would work for the year, gain some money at a new job and save up for a car and college. My dad claimed that he would keep me busy at church since I was interested in re-vamping the entire Audio Visual ministry at church. Personally, I don't want this. Yes I want to stay at home with the family, but the fall, I fear would end up being like the summer. Dull, and lonely.

So pray for me and wish me luck (If you actually stuck around to read something like this) as I go on this journey. I'll keep the adventure updated here as time goes on. Who knows what will happen? God knows and I'm terrifyingly excited. :)

July 13th, 2013 at 08:41pm