failure & accomplishments

after being nearly six months free of laxatives use/abuse, i broke down yesterday and took the same ones I hid from my mother, because she abuses laxatives, too. though i didn't know about her until after the peak of my own laxatives abuse.

i was triggered after going shopping in new york and seeing all this fat; i felt (and feel) so disgusting. the laxatives keep calling my name and i can't get myself to just throw them away and be done with it. on top of that, i still have those hidden diet pills i stole from the store (unfortunately i was that bad that i was even stealing laxatives and diet pills; i dont know).

that is, of course, my failure.

my accomplishment is having a pretty much solidified plan for half a world away and how im going to apply for colleges and when. writing and schooling is the only thing that's looking pretty much up for me right now. i just gotta pay attention to that and not this body, but god. so much easier said than done.

tell me some of your failures and accomplishments.