Life had been...Suckish

So yeah, life had kinda sucked the last couple of weeks. Me and mom have been getting into it a lot. And by a lot i mean there is like a screaming match every day. And its always over the same thing. Me being gay. Some how every argument get lead to that. Oh, i want to wear basketball short? not okay because im trying to be a guy. uhmmm no. they are comfy. I get my lip pierced? its clearly a thing that all lesbians do and mom doesnt want me to look like a lesbian. I have and attitude? Its because im gay. ever since i have been gay i have been awful. uhm i kinda knew since ever. it was just a matter of coming to terms with it. Oh i look nice and actually did my hair and put make-up on? mom hates it and it turns into and argument that im doing it to get girls attention. Then there is just her saying she would rather be be 16 and pregnant than 16 and gay. That she doesnt understand being gay so it isnt okay for me to be. Because she doesnt get it. Then she took the truck i drive away but yet wants me to get a job. how am i suppose to get there?!?! oh and lets not mention that i already have one job and work more and make more than you do so back off.

Then no only is there the mom thing. There is My Tainted Dove. WE were talking for a while and i thought things were going really well. then she just stopped talking. And my shattered heart still managed to break. I just want a reason as to why we stopped talking. At least tell me why. Oh and then as if i dont think about her enough, or hold beck tears enough i had to see her and her gf at walmart. I was trying to avoid them. But my luck practically ever turn i made they would be right there. And i would fight back the tears. Its stupid, i know. It has been over a year since it all went down but there is something about her. Something that wont let me let her go. I ended up in the bathroom crying. A PUBLIC BATHROOM having a break down. It just suck, ya know? seeing them together. I just dont know whats wrong with me.

Anyway i know none of you wanted to hear any of this or really care but i needed to just let some of what i have inside out. And if you read this all the way through, Thanks(: it means a lot that people might actually care.