Help out a fellow mibbian?

Okay, so there is this new story that I posted last night and I felt like this one would be amazing, that the plot line would be great. I mean, this is the only story in which I have an actual plotline planned out. I have great ideas for this thing and I love it. I love the characters I have planned out in my head. I love the ideas that I keep on getting for the the plot. I just love it.

It only has two chapters up, and I may even change the title of the story, but who knows. Right now it's called 'Wasting All These Tears'.

Now, it is my understanding that the "in" thing is sex. Almost every story I have read, it has been linked to sex. I am not complaining, some people write it just right and don't over do it. But I can't write smutt--I just have a hard time doing it. How can I explain something that I have never really felt myself? Anyways, that was just a little rant. Back to it!

This one is kind of a drama. It is an Avenged fan-fiction and will eventually introduce a love triangle. The interests are: Brian, Matt and my own character Ariel. She is a pregnant woman, who never knew the man was married when she conceived. He didn't want anything to do with the baby, so he paid Ariel off every month to keep her quiet. But he "died" and the money she was depending on was from him.

Now, the story with Matt and Brian, or the whole gang, is that they had killed Ariel's baby daddy. But that night, Matt's pregnant fiancee Val was murdered, along with his unborn son. Brian then goes to Detective Moretti, who has been the eyes on the inside of the legal system for years. Charles Moretti is the father of Ariel . One day, Brian threatens Charles and then goes home to find that Michelle is leaving him. Thus leaving both men alone.

All I can say for the rest is this: Charles Moretti doesn't find the killer, Brian and Matt-out of anger-decide to kill his daughter, and only daughter, in hopes that it would speed the process. That was until Matt found out she was pregnant.

And it goes on from there.

Now I'd really LOVE to get some feedback on the story. It's up and I haven't even received a comment. Other than someone saying its so great that I should enter it into a contest--if you happen to get that email, I think it's fishy because I clicked on the profile and she just happens to be deactivated. What is this? I don't want to be played, not if you're saying there is some serious cash involved! Anyway, can someone help out a fellow mibbian?