I NEVER got compliments in middle school nor am i getting any in high school. I'm going to be a juinor this year and i literally don't have any friends. The only two ppl i'm close with is my friend Sabrin (not Sabrina) and my friend Michael. Let me tell you why it's difficult for me to see them in school.
Sabrin is gonna be a sophomore this year. It's obvious i'm not gonna have any classes with her bc we're in diff grades. but she's in adv. math so maybe i'll get that with her:) idk about lunch, but even if she was in my lunch, she has her own friends that beg her to sit with them bc she's popular. I've known her for 3 years now and on Sep 2, it's going to be our 4 year-best friendversary. She's literally the only girl who calls me pretty and adorable and all that cute stuff. But she's my friend and sometimes when i know for a fact i look like shit, she still tells me i'm beautiful.
My friend Michael calls me pretty all the time. like i believe him-_- He's not into girls (gay) and i just can't believe him. I know they say if a gay tells you you're pretty, then he's not lying. But i can't even. He's into guy looks, but he still tells me i'm pretty. You guys want a visual of my face? here it is...
this is me actually trying to look pretty
and this is me on a regular basis w/ my hair straightened bc i hate it when it's poofy. i can't even show all of my face bc i hate it.
you're probably thinking "wow, you're so fucking stupid for thinking you're not pretty." truth is, i never get compliments unless it's from sabrin or michael, or from family. GUYS DON'T FLIRT WITH ME. Guys don't even take a glance at me. I think it's bc i'm always w/ my sister. She's just graduated high school this year and ppl say she looks like she belongs in the Kardashian family. I'm not even kidding. She actually does look like them. Guys stare at her, flirt with her, talk to her, come up to her asking for her digits, and i'm standing next to her like....................? what am i suppose to do? even if i'm not with my sister, i still feel so alone in school.
in school, i don't sit in the cafeteria, i fucking sit against the wall in front of the lines where you buy lunch. i sit there and each my lunch while listening to my ipod. these two girls sit with me and i don't even want to call them friends. I have my reasons. Neither of them talk to me unless i talk to them first. i have my headphones in all the time bc they don't talk anymore, so i don't talk to them anymore bc they don't even try to make an effort. neither of them give me compliments at all. AT ALL. what sucks is, I'M SOOO INTO BANDS and they don't know what the fuck that shit is...neither of them have been to any concerts or anything. so while i'm stuck being bored, feeling like i have no one to sit with at lunch even tho i do, it feels like i'm by myself sitting there eating my lunch.
and that's about it. If you give me a compliment, i'll say thank you<3 or something, but it's different in person. i want guys to flirt with me, like the same bands as me, and all that stuff. i'll never had it. i'm 16 and never had a boyfriend nor did a guy ever like me.:( i'm not asking for sympathy. no one will even read it. it's a blog entry and doesn't get out quick. THe only ppl i'll ever believe calling me beautiful or something like that is a band memeber<3