I'm Pregnant

I found out about 3 weeks ago that I'm pregnant. This is my very first pregnancy.
In my heart, I knew even before 3 weeks ago; I felt soreness in my breasts, I couldn't eat certain foods, my period was missing, and I just had a feeling like there was something in there, but for the first 8 weeks I ignored the signs because I was afraid. The only person who knew before I took a pregnancy test (well 3 pregnancy tests which all came out positive) was my boyfriend. I was afraid and kind of excited at the same time for whether I was or wasn't, but I knew that I didn't have a choice if I was. If I'm pregnant then I'm pregnant and that means I'm a mom. I was afraid of the confirmation of it, I guess.

I went to a doctor last week and she set me up with prenatal vitamins. Then last Monday I went for blood work. Then today I had my first prenatal appointment.

For me, having social anxiety disorder does not go well with my body when a practical stranger is examining me between my legs. I haven't been to a doctor since I was 16, so I've never had any pap tests or vaginal examinations until today. As someone who is trying to get past years of anxiety, I am pretty proud of myself for going through that today. I told my doctor that I guess I better be prepared and get used to these things since a baby is going to be busting out of there in 7 months.

I learned I have a deficiency in some vital vitamins so I need to eat more green vegetables.

As of today, I am 11 weeks, so I'm already a quarter of the way through. I haven't had morning sickness in the vomiting sense. I was a bit nauseated a few weeks ago but that seems to have dissipated now. Right now I'm just dealing with fatigue and having to urinate a lot.

I'm not sure if I'm happy about being pregnant. I don't really feel anything. I assume I'll be happy once I see my baby, but right now I don't think reality has set in yet. I'm just focusing on what my doctor tells me and trying to be healthy and stress-free. That's probably better for the baby than being over-emotional and stressing out.

I'm happy that my boyfriend has been there beside me every step of the way, helping me go through baby naming books and planning of what we're going to do when he or she is born. I'm also thankful for my sisters, who are also mothers, helping me with what to expect, and all the support I've been getting from my mom. The only person I need to tell now is my dad.

I never thought I would get pregnant for a long time, maybe once I was in my late 20's. We weren't trying or even really thinking about having babies, but we always said that if it happened then we would do our best. I'll be 21 when my baby is born. My due date is February 26th 2014!