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I used to have a blog that was meant to document my college experiences. It's still up and I was thinking about it today and decided that I would like to start it up again, just because it was such a nice thing to have for the first weeks at university.
Anyway, a lot of things have changed since I wrote those blogs, which you can find at starryeyedjoy.blogspot.com. And I thought that it would be cool if I did a post on my own college experience so that it could help any of my fellow Mibbians who are off to college this year or even in the next couple of years. I only have two years under my belt, but thought that the few things I have picked up might be of service to you guys!
EDIT: I GO TO A SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE, SO THIS MAY ONLY APPLY TO SOME OF YOU. I HOPE IT'S STILL HELPFUL THOUGH!
1.EVERYONE IS TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS. PERIOD.
When I got to school, I was terrified that I would not make friends. TERRIFIED. Luckily, my school had an orientation program where we were grouped off and made to do bonding activities. I've only really kept in touch with one person from that freshman year group, but it did manage to break the ice. Because trust me --everyone is scared shitless.
In my experience, the first couple of weeks of freshman year were shameless friend-hunting. And trust me, it sticks. I made friends with a girl my very first day and we bonded over our initial hatred for the dumb orientation activities and the fact that we were desperate for the comfort of home. You will be invited to have breakfast with someone. Someone will notice you, but keep in mind that you are also responsible for making friends too. Be nice, be loud, be soft spoken, be yourself and, trust me, it will be like a fucking magnetic field because the only thing everyone wants is a true, solid friend.
2. THE HOMESICKNESS WILL GO AWAY, I PROMISE!
Two days into school, I walked to the local Kohl's with the same girl from my orientation group and started sobbing at the home decor stuff because it reminded me of the decorating of the cabin that I'd done with my parents that summer. SERIOUSLY. And then my friend and I hobbled over to campus where we called our parents on the lawn and sobbed, begging them to take us home and that we could really transfer to schools closer to home. Luckily my mom laughed at me and told me to stop being a buttface.
If you are really close to your parents and have detachment issues (like I definitely do, even though I thought I was the most independent motherfucker around), it's going to be hard for the first few days, if not weeks. But you will get homework, you will make friends, and the ache will begin to wither away. Just keep telling yourself, "This is my job. This is my life. I can do this," and you will be A-okay. Because you can do it, and you will do it!
3. DORMS ARE WEIRD! ROOMMATES ARE TOUCH AND GO.
Dorms, dorms, dorms. It is like a strange, social experiment having to live in dorms. You will see a lot of different kinds of people doing weird kinds of shit. I once had to carry my half-naked neighbor to his room and tuck him into bed after he vomited on my floor. The kitchen is never clean and the bathrooms are gross during the weekends when the staff is gone, but you get used to it. I focused on making my dorm as cozy as possible, posting up photos of home and my favorite bands and stuff. TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR DORM, IT'S WHERE YOU WILL LIVE FOR EIGHT MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. Also make friends with your dormmates! I am really great friends with so many people from my hall even though we haven't lived in close proximity for a while!
The roommate situation can be tricky. My university had all incoming freshmen fill out a questionnaire that they used to match roommates based on music preferences, what time you sleep/wake up, whether you smoke or drink, etc. I was SOSOSOSOSO lucky and got paired up with the perfect girl. She is my best friend and my roommate --and we don't get sick of each other! So that right there was an effing godsend for sure. Other people, like my good friend Gabby, got paired up with a person who is their friend too, but not their best friend. Like, they have great living arrangements, talk about their days together, but it's not like they hang out every second of every day like me and my roommate do and it definitely works for them. This is how most roommate situations go, at least from what I hear.
Then there is the worst situation: having a roommate you cannot stand. For example, I had a friend whose roommate would glare at her while she did her hair and makeup, like just sat there with slit eyes like she was the spawn of Satan, eat all of her food, and watch her while she slept. It was so bad, my friend had to sleep on my floor for half the semester because she was too petrified to go to her room. Thankfully, she moved into another dorm with a close friend and is as happy as a clam. If something like that happens to you, pester your school! Pester your friends! Space will be open soon enough if there are international students, students who transfer out, students who just don't want to be there anymore.
3. BE OPENMINDED!
I definitely came from a very sheltered existence and when I got to school, I realized that not everybody is like me or like my hometown friends. I used to be super snobby to smokers and it turns out that half of my fucking friends smoke a pack a day. I don't necessarily agree with it, but it is not cool to be prejudiced against someone else's vices. Same goes with drinking, drug use, sexual activity. People, at my school at least, are completely put off by someone who rolls their eyes at them in condescension when they say they hooked up with someone or got drunk that weekend. As long as everyone is safe, your friends are safe, it is not okay to be mean to someone or pass judgement. Be a good listener, recognize the situation if there is a legitimate problem, but if someone drinks and you don't or has sex and you don't, it's not cool to hold it against them.
FOR EXAMPLE, there was a Facebook group for my class where some football-playing asshole was like "I am gonna swipe as many V-cards as possible when I get to school." And I was thinking UGHTHISGUYISDISGUSTINGIWILLSTAYAWAYFROMHIM. Then it turned out that he lived next door to me freshman year. And I was still staying away from him because I thought he was gross. But he started talking to me and I got to know him and he is ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD. He was 17 when he made those dumb posts, and not only that, but we talked and he said, "I'm sorry if I offended you with that. I was thinking it would be a joke, but I am super insecure sometimes so I try to play the stud." !!!!! People can surprise you.
4. BE YOURSELF AND HAVE FUN
It's cheesy, but true. I promise.
If any of you are older than me and have advice on junior and senior year, I would love to hear it in the comments! And if you're just going to college, let me know if this was helpful!
Love ya'll! Have a fun school year!