I can already assume that after I post this, it's going to cause some people to become offended or disagree. That is fine because everyone has the right to feel or do those things. I'm not calling out to any one person here but I just need to get this out.
First off...I know that everyone is different. We all view things differently and come from different backgrounds. I will try my best to word this right and to give examples.
Let's say that you bake a cake and take it to your job to share with everyone. In your mind you hope for the best that people will like it but you also have to know that there are going to be people who may not like it too. There is a 50/50 chance someone won't like it.
There is always a 50/50 chance that someone will ridicule you or have their own ideas about something you've done. Now onto the topic that is very hard for me to talk about because I know all about the controversy it brings but I KNOW it's a touchy subject. Before I even decided to write this blog or talk about the topic, I knew what the outcome might be and I am prepared to face those outcomes.
The topic is....how women dress and how people respond to that. If you are a female and and choose to wear little clothing out in public that does NOT make you a slut. Obviously not right? The way people behave I guess makes them a slut or I don't know really because I try not to call people sluts at all. If I personally think someone has slut tendencies, I just keep it to myself. It's not my business how many people a girl sleeps with or whether she's dating them or just having casual sex! Whatever it is that makes a girl a slut these days I just don't judge okay!
I did judge a girl once but that's because she knowingly slept with a married man and didn't care about his wife. I've let that go though and no longer call or try and think of people as sluts. Here is what I have to say though that I'm sure is going to make people mad. We live in a society where most of the general population think a certain way. If you see a girl dressed in not much clothing, then she is probably promiscuous. If she isn't promiscuous, then she's putting herself out there to look like she is.
This is not my opinion of women's dress I'm just saying this seems to be how a lot of people in the world view the issue. Of course this is just my observation......since I'm not everyone in the world. Some men think that if they see a girl in a mini skirt or with her boobs and cleavage hanging all out for the world to see....that they may be more "easy" sexually. Of course that does not give a man the right to go calling her a slut or to demean her as some mere sexual object. However....this is what I would tell anyone who asked me about the subject.
If you go out of the house wearing minimal clothing and you are female, be prepared to be objectified or at least don't act all shocked if it happens or if someone makes a remark to you. Not everyone was raised to be respectful of people and not every man out there is going to sympathize or know that when you put on those really short shorts this morning that you weren't doing it to be noticed by the opposite sex or anyone else who bothers to look.
Not every girl who likes to wear shorts or light clothing purposely does it to be noticed but some do and some have in the past. It's really hard to tell because each person is different. Some girls wake up and purposely dress provocatively to be noticed or sought after by the opposite sex. I'm not saying that girls who do this are bad or should be looked down upon, I'm just saying that girls who have done that in the past has made it harder for girls who do like to dress in what they like to wear without having purposely made a thought in their head to wear their clothes to entice anyone. Some girls just like wearing comfortable clothes such as shorts or short skirts and don't like the confinement of clothing or jeans.
It's really hard to draw the line. Women have been objectified or in the spot light for years. With all the women in porn and such....I guess men and other people who discriminate just assume now that if a woman doesn't wear a lot of clothes, then she must be easy. There are people out there who do have no respect for people and think they are entitled to just call anyone a slut or to treat them as a object. We unfortunately have to deal with these people.
What I don't understand is, people have been calling other people sluts for years. Why is this just now becoming a major topic? Why are feminists or people who hide behind so called "feminism" just now coming forth to try and do something(at least on this site)? I for one am not suggesting that any girl who wears next to no clothing is slutty but if you put yourself out there.....anytime in the public's eye....no matter what you wear, you are open to being ridiculed or shamed. That's life.
People who wear modest clothing are made fun of. Nuns are even made fun of for choosing their lifestyle and wearing what they do. If you don't want to be called a slut for wearing not a lot of clothes, then either ignore what people say or just be conscious and know that if you do wear not a lot of clothes, then there might be some person out there who will say something about it. We can't make people shut up completely and never call us bad names or insult us.
I guess if you don't want to be insulted or discriminated against, don't put yourself out there where you can be. Until hateful words like, "slut, bitch, whore, skank, etc" are banned from the English language and tons of other languages, someone out there is going to use them. There will always be someone who even if they don't use a hateful word....still find a way to discriminate.
I would also like to note that I am not condoning people who slut shame....I am not choosing sides here....I am just stating the simple fact that ANYTIME YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THE PUBLIC'S EYE you have to understand that there is a chance someone will insult or offend you. Also, what I always tell myself when people are mean to me, "Just consider the source." Those are my go-to words any time someone tries to call me something that isn't true or when people try and bash me.
You have to consider that obviously they are not respecting you as a person. I feel like if a person doesn't make the self conscious decision to respect me and not call me bad things, then they have some serious issues themselves that they will have to atone for and come to terms with. Sometimes it's best to just be the bigger person and move on without making any confrontation. Also remember that some people just thrive off confrontation and getting a rise out of people. If you can realize that if you don't give in and fire back with a response or let them know it bothers you, then they really have no power over you.
Now if you are being ridiculed on a daily basis by the same person even if you've tried your best for days to ignore them and their hate, then I suggest taking action or letting someone who can help the situation know. If it's just random people on the street, then I'd let it go. Sure it hurts when people call us negative things. I've been through it before and it really hurt me and made me question my self worth but...you just gotta get to a point where YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
You have to learn who you are deep inside and never question that no matter what people call you or what mean things they say to you. It's not easy to get to that point, trust me. It took me years. Now I just let insults roll off my back and especially if the person doesn't know me. It's more difficult if it's family or friends who say something mean but still try not and let them bring you or your self confidence down.
We are all humans and individuals. We all know that we deserve respect even if people do not give it. We do all have the right to vent or dislike when people call us shit but I don't get why it still comes to a shock to people anymore. I'm not sure if people are genuinely shocked when they get insulted or if they just pretend to be to get attention. This got really lengthy and I'm not sure if I used the right words or not...but I feel better getting this out there. I'm not sure if this is going to help anyone or not. I know some of you won't agree and that's okay. I'm just a person giving my opinion.
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