This is going to sound extremely dramatic, but I really don't know how to put it in any other way.
I just found out that my estranged cousin was killed in a motorcycle accident two days ago.
The only reason that we never talked was because my uncle and his wife divorced years ago. After that, she decided she didn't want anything to do with him or his family.
So now I'm just sitting here, watching the wind blow through the curtains and feeling nothing. I'm completely numbed to the bone. Of course I've had people in my family die. But that was a long time ago, before I could even register what death was.
Hell, I still don't know what death is.
What happens?
Why does it happen?
And for God's sake, why did my twenty year old cousin have to die?
I think I talked to him once. But my brother would talk to him over Xbox quite frequently. I remember hearing his voice and his laugh. And now it's all gone. I'll never hear that ever again. As brief as it was, it's all over.
I know that death can sneak up on anybody. But I never realized how much I was taking my life for granted. I'm young, and for some reason I thought I was invincible. I thought that it was just a joke, that that couldn't happen to me.
And no, it hasn't happened to me. But it took my cousin.
He was so close too.
He was struggling with drugs and we were trying to help him and be his support group. I wanted him to get through this and to fight. And then in an instant, he's gone.
I'm sorry for rambling.
It's pathetic.
But I just needed to say this. I needed to get it out. And I know how supportive all of you are, so thank you so much for reading this.
I love you all.
Dying .
August 14th, 2013 at 11:26pm