Her funeral is this morning, which I still need to get ready for, and I'm really just not prepared for this. I was fine with it being a closed casket when they first decided it on Monday, but then everyone changed their mind and decided to do an open casket. I really can't handle this. I can't handle the thought of seeing her like that, you know? Seeing her without a smile on her face like she always did.
I'm just...I feel like I'm never going to get over this loss. I know that everyone dies eventually...but I just feel like it was too soon. I'm trying to be brave though. I'm going to add a poem that was at my cousin's funeral a few years ago. I'm trying my best to just remember that she's at peace now. And that she's no longer hurting.
"I'm Free"
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God has laid you see.
I took His hand when I heard Him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day.
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that peace at the close of the day.
If parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joys.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
oh yes these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee.
God wanted me now; He set me free.
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God has laid you see.
I took His hand when I heard Him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day.
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that peace at the close of the day.
If parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joys.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
oh yes these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee.
God wanted me now; He set me free.