Renewal and Revival

So, I haven't posted in a while and I just thought I would because I had a bit of free time. So my life has been okay now, Valerie and I are better, since I don't talk to her that much, it creates a sort of mystery. I've been thinking a lot for the past few days on how my future is looking. I trust in myself that my future will be okay.

I am very meticulous when it comes to grades and well just everything, but there is just something that I have ignored for too long.

My passion for art.

Art in the field of drawings, paintings etc.

I know, I don't know a lot about it and there are people who I know that are just magnificent at it.

I have been so caught up with the technicalities of my future and the assurance that I forgot how much I loved it. I had dreams.

I had a path. But it all faded away when my procrastination and depression got the best of me.

It was only when I started hanging out with my two best friends from high school that I started to notice how much time I've wasted. They were all doing this and doing that, and achieving this and that.

Well look what happened to my ass.

I'm out here in my room crying my eyeballs out.

After I hung out with them, as fun as it might have been, I was really depressed.

I'm not sure if it was my lack of sleep or whatever but I just felt bad.

I came to my senses that the life I was going for was a life I wouldn't be very happy with, so I started planning again.

I don't want to jinx this though, but i might as well say them. I'm going to make up for loss time and juts save money to buy stuffs and things (Hello The Walking Dead fans). I couldn't possibly live with my self knowing that i did nothing with what i was given.

No.

I will make up something with my life, if its the last thing I do.

I've been having nightmares lately, nightmares in which i die and I face God and I just cry because, I did nothing of what I was supposed to do.

Even if you believe in God or not, you can't just waste your life away.

I won't.

LotsaLoveandShitXOXOXO