a possible diagnosis could be in my future.

I've discussed a lot of the struggles I've had with my health before on this website, mainly because I don't have many other places to do it, I guess. Unfortunately these health problems severely impact my writing ability as well, so part of me feels like I should talk about them here? I don't know.

It started almost 3 years ago with my wrists feeling tingly, burning, numb, and weak. We thought it was a simple case of double carpal tunnel, but 2 nerve conduction tests and a shit ton of blood work and a battery of other tests later - it's not carpal tunnel.

I've been severely fatigued every day for as long as I can remember. It's definitely gotten worse since I started college 3 years ago, though. It's so bad that a lot of the time, I can't even get out of my bed to fucking pee. I just hold it because I'm too tired to move.

I'm tired, weak, in pain constantly. Nothing has been found out. They even thought I had muscular dystrophy, which was fucking terrifying, but I didn't. It's been so long and I've had no answers. I just want to know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane.

I've been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, migraine disorder, and anxiety.

And now, something new is happening to me.

About 2 months ago I started experiencing visual static, like seeing colorful fuzzy things in my line of vision. I got more headaches. And then, every time I bend down or move my head a certain way, my vision whites out either partially or completely in my right eye. I went to the eye doctor and she said my optic nerves were swollen and referred me immediately to a specialist, who I am seeing tomorrow.

The reason she is so concerned?

It is a common presenting symptom of multiple sclerosis.

I don't want to jump the gun...but I might have this disease.

It does explain everything else that has been going on with me.

Hopefully I get some answers tomorrow.

I don't know how to feel.